


Threads Intertwined

by KnightlyWordsmith



Series: Threads Intertwined [1]
Category: Saint Seiya, Saint Seiya: The Lost Canvas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3829960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightlyWordsmith/pseuds/KnightlyWordsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living in a world without feeling Yuzuriha is lost, travelling but getting nowhere. A chance run in with her past sets her on the path to confront the changes to her life and just maybe find some solace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Important disclaimer: I've only watched the Lost Canvas anime, and haven't read the manga. This fic is set after the end of the manga, but as I only have the vaguest idea of what happens in it, this fic may not agree 100% with canon, and may even be a borderline AU.

Without a Cosmos, Yuzuriha felt disconnected from the world, the universe and even herself. She could once feel the stars in the palms of her hands, the mysteries of space in each step she took. In Italy a part of her could always still be in Jamir. In Jamir she could still feel the Sanctuary. In the Sanctuary she could be in a thousand places she'd never been, feel the lives of the millions she'd never met.

Now she was just Yuzuriha. A lone woman, a lone vessel which held a single soul. She could feel the wind on her skin and the grass beneath her feet. She could smell the fresh spring dew and see as far as the next rise of a hill, but nothing more. How small her world had become.

She took to travelling. If she couldn't feel every place with her heart anymore, she would feel it all with her fingers, see it with her eyes, taste its air on her tongue.

She saw mountains. Bathed under waterfalls. Trekked across a desert. Slept under stars, rocks and thatched roofs. She met faces of every shape, skin of every colour, and eyes of every emotion. But she was still just Yuzuriha. She still couldn't feel past the edges of her own senses. Couldn't feel any heartbeats aside her own.

The taproom of the inn was a loud one, full of boisterous patrons, and warm from the their laughter and the fire roaring behind its grate. Outside, the late spring rain hammered against the window panes, her reason for seeking shelter other than those provided freely by nature. Yuzuriha sat in the back of the taproom, a mug of ale which she had tasted both better and worse than tucked between her hands. She looked out at the busy room, but as always, she felt apart from it. She could see all the life bustling before her, but feel no more than her own.

She was just contemplating retiring to the room she had rented for the night when a hand landed on her shoulder. Broad, work hardened fingers caught her in a strong grip. She hadn't been alerted by any extra sense of their approach beforehand, and any sound they had made was covered by the activity of the other inn patrons. If it weren't for the hand in contact with her shoulder she wouldn't have known they were there at all.

Yuzuriha turned her head and looked up into a pair of familiar blue eyes, and a grin so wide it could barely be contained by the face that held it.

"Yuzuriha! Funny meeting you here!"

Yato. Foolishly stubborn, and idiotically impulsive Yato. Yato's whose Cosmos was once as brash and overbearing as his personality. A Cosmos that usually flowed off him in waves, but now there was nothing. Just the touch of his fingers on her shoulder.

He didn't wait for an invitation. Yato didn't even give her a chance to say something. He pulled out the seat opposite her, dropped his traveling pack on the floor beside it, and plunked himself down. He propped one leg up on the remaining chair at the table, and just grinned at her, rain still dripping off the ends of his hair.

"The drink any good here?" he asked, hailing the innkeeper over anyway.

Yuzuriha shrugged. "Better than piss." To prove her point she took another swig of the ale. With Yato's exuberance apparently not having waned in the years since she'd last seen him, she was thinking she might need it.

"A ringing endorsement," he flashed another grin at her. "And since when did a lady like you start to talk like that?"

Yuzuriha fidgeted in her seat. She'd been a lady once, long ago. Then she'd been a warrior, but even that had started to fade into the past. She was saved from having to answer Yato by the appearance of the barkeeper.

Yato asked for two mugs of ale ("Your's is almost empty," he said at the look she gave him), and then the barkeeper left, leaving the two of them alone.

Yato leaned back in his chair sticking one arm behind his neck, while the other drummed a rhythm on the table. "So, it's been a while."

"It has," she confirmed. Yuzuriha slid her fingers idly up and down the side of her mug. Was she supposed to say something else? It had been so long since she'd seen someone from her old life that she wasn't sure how she was supposed to act.

"How've you been?" Never perturbed, Yato just plunged forward. He hadn't changed at all. All of his energy and excitement was still there, even if she could only see what he expressed rather than feel that added layer which had only been present in his Cosmos.

"Good, I suppose," she let her gaze turn to the rest of the room as she said so. 'Good' may have been pushing it. 'Surviving' was adequate. 'Existing' may have been the most apt. "I've been travelling."

"That's what I've heard," Yato replied.

Yuzuriha turned back to him. "Heard? From where?"

The drumming of Yato's fingers on the table intensified. "I went to Jamir, oh, a year or so ago," he mused. "You weren't there."

Yuzuriha downed the rest of her ale so she wouldn't have to react to that. He'd gone to see her? A warmth spread through her which couldn't be attributed to the alcohol. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling.

"Atla said you'd been travelling. Said you hadn't been back since well, you know, everything changed." Yuzuriha could feel imaginary hackles rising on her shoulders. She crossed her arms in front of her, trying to hide her discomfort. The unease she was feeling, at the reminder of what had happened to them must have been apparent, as Yato's voice trailed off uncertainly.

As quick as his voice dropped, Yato's cheery demeanour reappeared. He gently slapped the table, his voice light once again. "Glad I found you here though. It's been too long."

Yuzuriha caught herself wondering at his appearance in the tavern. Out of all the places in the world he could have been he'd happened on the one place she was. Was it only by chance? He'd gone to look for her in Jamir. Had he still been looking for her right up until his hand landed on her shoulder?

Yuzuriha's line of thought was cut off by two mugs of ale being set down between them. Yato pounced on his, probably to relieve any of the lingering tension at the table.

He reeled back from the brew as quickly as he'd jumped on it. Liquid sputtered from between his lips as his face scrunched in disgust. The tavern owner, who had only just begun to walk away didn't even falter in his step. A common reaction to his drink apparently.

Yato raised his head to meet Yuzuriha's face, eyes accusatory. "I thought you said this stuff was okay?" His brows and nose were scrunched tightly as he glared at her.

"I said it was better than piss." She reached across the table to the other mug, and brought it to her mouth. Her lips curved around its rim in a faint smile at the look Yato was giving her. She took a drink then smirked. "What's your problem Yato? Have you been living on fancy drinks in posh establishments?"

"So what if I have?" He stuck his lower lip out in a half pout, an expression she'd seen on his face a dozen times over. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff."

Yuzuriha ran a finger over the rim of the mug. "Trust me, I've had worse," she replied. "There was this one place I stayed where I'm almost certain their drink was fermented urine from the goats they kept out back."

Yato curled his lip back and shook his head. "That's disgusting," he said. "But, I bet you drank it anyway."

"I might have," Yuzuriha replied, eyes crinkling. She leaned back in her own chair, letting shoulders she hadn't notice stiffen relax. It was odd talking to him again after all these years. Almost like old times.

Yato took another, more cautious, sip of his drink. He swallowed it without spitting any this time. "I guess it's drinkable," he muttered darkly. Yuzuriha barely resisted the urge to call him a baby.

"So?" Yato straightened slightly in his seat. He looked at her expectantly. "Aren't you going to ask me what I've been doing all this time?"

Yuzuriha favoured him with a half-smile. "What have you been doing all this time Yato?"

Yato's grin stretched so wide she was sure it would pull apart his cheeks this time. "Absolutely nothing, and absolutely loving it." He crossed his other leg over the one already resting on the extra chair, the image of comfort and relaxation. "What about you? Do you prefer travelling to the life and death situations of the old days?"

It was posed innocently, but it was a much more loaded question than intended. The lightness Yuzuriha was feeling dissipated in an instant. She took a long draught of her drink to bide for time.

Any sane person would say they preferred her current position. Travelling on her own will with nothing pressing her onward. Finding new wonders in each place she visited. Sounded like paradise. Except it wasn't so passive. She was driven to find meaning in everything, to feel something like she used to. To find a purpose, where she'd once known her role was to fight for what was right. After years, she was still searching.

Yuzuriha placed her mug on the table harder than she intended. She kept her eyes trained on it rather than rising to meet Yato's, and nodded, replying shortly, "Of course."

"Well, that was convincing." Yato's words bled sarcasm.

Yuzuriha sighed. "No, it's nice. The road is, it's peaceful." She struggled with the words, but they were at least honest in some regard. She once again picked up the now almost empty mug of ale and took another drink, eyes losing focus over its rim.

Yato's eyes lingered on her face, his gaze searching. Then he shrugged, whatever was bothering him lost as he said, "So, I'm sure you've seen some interesting things, tell me about some of them?"

She didn't know what they talked about for the rest of the evening. Benign, safe things no doubt. She finished the drink Yato had ordered for her, and few more still, until her fingers started to tingle, and the lopsided grin on Yato's face was starting to look amusing, rather than stupid. Yato in turn managed to finish his drink, but only with copious amounts of manly determination.

When the morning sun had started to glow around the edges of the surrounding mountains, Yuzuriha was downstairs, paying the innkeeper for her board. Just as she was about to step out the door slow, heavy, footsteps sounded down the stairs.

Yato, bleary eyed and yawning, with his travelling pack slung over his shoulder tossed a few coins to the innkeeper. He rubbed some of the sleep out of his eyes and mustered up a smile for Yuzuriha. It lacked some of the brightness from the night before, marred by his exhaustion.

"I forgot how early you rise," he tried to put cheer in his voice, but Yato's words came out as more of a grumble than anything else and the end was cut off by a yawn.

Yuzuriha couldn't remember inviting him to travel with her the night before, but then again she couldn't remember not doing so either. Regardless, he followed right behind her as she stepped out the door, and back into the wide open world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go, first chapter all done. This isn't going to be a super long fic, to be honest it's more of a glorified one-shot that got out of hand than anything else. It's probably going to end up five chapters long, most of which I already have written. I'm planning on weekly updates, but that depends on how well the editing of the rest of the chapters go. Con-crit is welcome!


	2. Chapter 2

Yuzuriha was accustomed to travelling for hours on end, without a break. Thankfully, Yato did not seem to mind the pace she set, and if he did he kept it blissfully to himself. Not that he kept quiet though. Yuzuriha was fairly certain he had her talking more in that one day than she had the whole past year combined.

She didn't mind it. In fact, while she had worried he would irritate her, Yuzuriha instead found herself enjoying Yato's company. The conversation was a refreshing break from her mundane ritual of observing everything and anything around her, trying to soak in all she could with her senses. There was no point in trying to pick up on all the minute sounds around her when much more interesting stories were being told by her companion. At times though, his conversation would steer into directions she was not prepared for.

The sun was high in the sky, past noon and their midday break for lunch. Yato had been quiet for the past few minutes, and Yuzuriha was just waiting for him to start on something again.

"Have you heard from Shion lately?"

Yuzuriha ducked her head, eyes closing. A long forgotten pang rose in her chest, a product of memories she'd been able to keep out of her mind for so long. When she replied she kept her words brief in the hopes of curbing further questions. "No, I haven't."

"Strange, I thought he would have tried to get in touch with you," Yato mused. "I always got the impression you two were close."

Eyes still directed toward the ground, Yuzuriha replied tersely. "I'm sure he's kept busy with his duties."

"I suppose." There was a beat of silence, a silence that was filled by only the gentle gurgling of a nearby stream. Funny how those pauses in conversation were once filled with so much more. The feelings and emotions that she could once capture as they emanated from a Cosmos. A way to give her an inkling of what Yato was thinking that he wasn't saying. To maybe understand why he had asked in the first place.

"Do you miss him?"

How was she supposed to answer that?

There were many things she missed in this world. The feeling of the world in her hands. Her mother's scarf draped around her neck, and calling it to life with only her will. Days spent defending Athena's justice. Her parents of course, and even Tokusa, her brother. Hakurei who had taught her the power of her blood. Tenma who'd done so much for them all. Sometimes, maybe even Yato himself, before he had barreled back into her life.

Shion she missed dearly. Shion, her sparring partner, sometimes mentor and long-time friend. He who was now leading the Sanctuary, a place she'd likely never see again. All she said was, "At times." She wasn't sure she could put into words how much she missed Shion, and she certainly wasn't going to try and find them to answer Yato.

"I miss Miss Sasha." Yuzuriha looked up then as Yato's words fell quietly. For the first time since she'd seen him, the grin on Yato's face had faltered. He was gazing up into the sky, but his eyes were distant, as if he were looking for more than the clouds that floated above them. It reminded her of how she was not the only one who had lost so much. The expression did not fit his face at all.

"Miss Sasha?" Yuzuriha forced some lightness she wasn't feeling into her voice. "I thought you were the one who insisted on calling her Lady Athena?" Yato's eyes slide back to her. Despite her struggles, Yuzuriha's words did have their desired effect as the corner of his mouth lifted a fraction. His eyes crinkled into a small smile, dispelling that unsettling distant look in his eye.

"What can I say?" Yato shrugged. "After all I've done, I reckon I have the right to call her Miss Sasha."

Yato was all smiles for the rest of the day, talking about anything and everything. Although his constant chatter may have been annoying at times, Yuzuriha much preferred him smiling and talkative, than with that far-away lost look in his eyes.

The sky was clear, and the air warm with the oncoming of summer, so Yuzuriha decided there was no need for an inn that night. The work of setting up camp went faster with two sets of hands. Yato even surprised her by demonstrating his skill at setting up snares.

The two of them soon found themselves sitting around a small but toasty fire, a spitted rabbit for each roasting over the flickering flames. Yato was leaning back on his travelling pack, while Yuzuriha sat cross-legged on the opposite side of the fire.

Yato rolled his shoulders, and let out a contended sigh. "You don't wear your scarf anymore," he observed conversationally over the crackling and spitting of the cooking meat.

Involuntarily Yuzuriha's hand went to her neck. Her fingers lingered on the bare skin there as her eyes settled on her pack lying beside her. "It's gotten old," she replied quietly. "And the travelling wears it thin. I keep it packed away now." None of that was a lie, she just left out some of the details. Details of how it felt so dead and lifeless to her now. How she had called on it so many times out of habit, and having it fail to obey her commands each time had become too disheartening to bear.

"It's just strange to see you without it," Yato said.

"You'll get used to it," Yuzuriha shrugged. She refused to acknowledge that she implied that he would be staying with her for a while. She wondered if the grin that appeared on his face was a sign of him noticing her words, or simply from his excitement to see that their dinner had finished cooking.

The two fell into a steady rhythm after that. When the sun rose Yuzuriha would kick Yato awake, and he would moan and grumble about the early hour. She'd shove him around until he'd help her break camp. They would then walk for hours, stopping only for lunch, and then walk some more. Yato would be sure to keep up a constant commentary all day long. Provided the weather held, when the sun began to descend they would search for a good place to set up camp, find themselves some dinner, and settle in for another night.

"Are you ever mad at them?" Yato asked one night as they were setting up their camp.

Yuzuriha, who had been busy at work building a suitable fire, sat back on her heels. Yato had his back to her, unwinding the cord he used to set up the snares that caught their dinner most nights. "Mad? At who?" She asked warily. It was a stupid question. She knew exactly who Yato was referring to, but the longer she could stave off answering the better.

Yato glanced over his shoulder at her. Though his voice was neutral when he responded, Yato's eyes told her he was well aware of her poor evasion tactics. "Miss Sasha. Tenma. Are you ever mad at them?"

Yuzuriha went back to work arranging the firewood. "Mad about what?" Yuzuriha wasn't really sure why she said it. Of course she knew exactly what he was talking about, just as she knew who she was supposed to be mad at without asking. Maybe she just wanted to see how Yato would react.

"I don't ever remember you being so dense, Yuzuriha," Yato said pointedly. He stopped what he was doing, and turned so he was fully facing her. He crossed his arms, the cord he had just unwound now crumpled in his fist. "If you really need me to be more clear, are you ever mad about them leaving us, and for leaving us like this. For leaving us normal?"

Yuzuriha's hands halted in their work once again. He'd worded it so that she had no outs, aside from stubbornly refusing to respond. She looked up at the sky, contemplating its vastness. She wondered briefly if Athena was up there somewhere, watching over them even now, with Tenma on one side, and Alone on the other.

'Mad' did not begin to describe her feelings on being down here without them, stripped of all the abilities that had come to make up who she was. It was because of them that she'd become this wanderer, searching for feeling in everything and purpose in anything. It was because of them that she would never again feel the soft silk of her mother's scarf wrapped around her neck, never return to the Sanctuary, never do so many things she once had.

"Why would I be mad? They did what they had to do." They did. It was important. The world was saved. She told herself that all the time. She suspected the words fell as hollow on Yato's ears, as they did on hers every time she tried to convince herself of them.

"Just because something's right doesn't mean you can't be angry about it," Yato said reasonably.

"When did you get so philosophical?" Yuzuriha had to cut back some of the venom in her voice. This was Yato. He wasn't intentionally antagonizing her. He probably didn't even realize how his intendedly innocent questions caused her such distress. She had to remember that even as her knuckles whitened around the branch she was holding.

"About the same time you got so cynical." Yuzuriha mentally flinched at that. If only he knew how cynical her thoughts really were.

She didn't have a response for his words that wouldn't just lead him to ask more questions, and she didn't waste the time trying to think of one. Instead she put all her focus on her task. A short time later she had a neat, serviceable fire built, which she lit so they could start cooking whatever Yato's snares would catch for their dinner.

Yuzuriha laid down that night, her stomach comfortably full, and her heavy eyes ready for sleep. The warm air that brushed her skin softly was a sure sign that spring was transitioning into summer, and the ground beneath her was hard, but not uncomfortably so.

"So, where are you headed anyway?" Yuzuriha sighed to hear Yato's sleepy voice drifting over from the other side of the camp. Most normal people would have asked this question before tagging along with someone on their travels, and they certainly would have done so before travelling with them for days. Not that Yuzuriha thought Yato to be a normal person.

She considered not answering. All she really wanted to do was sleep, and if she was being honest she'd had enough of his talking that day. Her irritation at him from earlier in the night still lingered. She could just pretend she had fallen asleep, and considering how tired she was it wouldn't be a lie for long.

"East," she found herself answering anyway. He'd just ask her later she reasoned with herself. "I want to see the ocean."

"East? There are oceans a lot closer to home, you know?" Yato replied, with a sleepy laugh.

"I don't have a home anymore," she said quietly into the dark, before she knew what she was saying. It took her only a split second to realize that she shouldn't have said anything. She knew he was going have something to say to that. She should have just pretended to be asleep in the first place.

There was the sound of shuffling on the other side of the dwindling campfire. Though he'd sounded close to sleep a moment ago, Yato had sat up. Yuzuriha raised her head just enough to look at him. The faint light of the moon was enough to outline the features of his face, which were intent on her.

"When are you going to cut this melodramatic bullshit, Yuzuriha?" He sounded truly annoyed finally, but it wasn't the crassness of his words that caught her so much as the frustration that was in his voice as he said her name.

"You don't have a home? You don't miss Shion? You aren't angry about anything that happened?" Yato challenged. "Don't pull this crap with me. It's okay to be angry about the things that happened. Jamir's there and waiting for you if you'd only go back to it. Shion would visit if he knew you'd be there. People care about you Yuzuriha," his voice softened on his last words. Not for the first time Yuzuriha found herself wondering if him running into her in that inn was solely by chance, or if he'd been actively seeking her out.

"I'd like to believe you Yato, but I just can't feel it," she whispered so quiet she doubted he would hear. Feeling, that was the problem with it all now. Without that extra sense she used to possess everything felt fake, as if it weren't really there. Jamir didn't feel real, not like the home she once knew, not when she could no longer feel its lifeblood thrum through the earth.

"Yuzuriha." Any edge in Yato's voice was completely lost now. It had gained some warmth and a softness she was surprised to feel. One she wasn't prepared to deal with. As false as Jamir now felt, it was nothing compared to how empty actual emotions were.

Yuzuriha lowered her head back to the ground, and rolled over to shut Yato and that prickling softness out. Brusquely, as if that could rid herself of the unease she was feeling, Yuzuriha said, "Either way, I'm going east to see the ocean."

She heard Yato blow out a loud sigh. Then there was the sound of scuffling as he too laid back down. A moment passed before his voice floated over to her once again. "East to see the ocean, huh? Gonna be a long walk." She could just imagine the resigned look that must have been in his eyes.

"Does that mean you don't want to come?" Yuzuriha wasn't sure if she asked it as a joke or an honest question. She also wasn't sure what response, if any, she was hoping for.

An offended grunt sounded at the other edge of their camp. "Didn't I just tell you you're not alone?"

That night, Yuzuriha drifted off to sleep with a faint smile on her lips.


	3. Chapter 3

The last traces of spring passed fully into summer, and summer slowly into fall. Each day Yuzuriha woke up and continued her journey, but she no longer did so alone. Yato was always there, bleary eyed in the morning, and dopey eyed at night, but bright and cheery all the times in between.

Yuzuriha could no longer feel the changes of the seasons like she once did. There were none of the gentle shifts in the life force that flowed around her, as new life arose in the spring, bloomed in the summer, and receded in the fall. In time she had learned how to capture its subtleties in other ways. She had primed her nose to the warm musty smells of spring's new life. She had learned to taste the new pollens in the air, listen for the tiny sounds of infant chicks chirping for food, and of course to spot the budding of leaves and the blooming of flowers.

But this year, although she still noticed some of this, she did so with only passing glances or the faintest attention to sounds on the breeze. No, she had something else to focus on for once, something that was so brimming with life it took most of her attention. Even though she couldn't feel his life force as she once did, there was no way she could mistake just how lively of a force Yato was.

He had never lost that zest for life she had once known. He would still turn his face to the sun and bask in its warmth when the sky was clear. He may bemoan the poor weather when the clouds opened up and rained down on their heads, but Yuzuriha had nearly marvelled on more than one occasion to see him jumping from puddle to puddle, playing like any child even though he was well past the age.

On one hot day they came across a quick running stream. To relieve himself of the oppressive heat Yato had barreled in waist deep, only to come out even faster, yelping and sputtering upon learning that it was fed by mountain runoff of snowmelt. In response to her chortling at the sight, Yato scooped up some of the frigid water in his shivering fingers and flung it at her. He caught her full in the face, sending icy water running down her bare neck. He'd followed this up by tackling her to the ground while she was still shrieking from the icy shock. They both ended up a laughing heap in the dirt, wet and cold, but happy nonetheless.

He was so alive, that at times she caught herself feeling a little more alive as well.

Fall eventually crept into winter, and Yuzuriha had taken to wearing her warm clothes all the time. There were days when the chill would pass down her bare neck that she'd ache to take out her mother's scarf and wrap herself up in its warmth once again. She could never bring herself to though. The pain of her absent telekinesis was still too much.

"It's bloody freezing out," Yato's teeth chattered together as he spoke. He rubbed both arms trying to capture some warmth in the motion. "I can't feel my ears anymore. Are they still there?" He queried Yuzuriha.

Yuzuriha shot an annoyed look at him. It was a crisp morning, and they'd just broken camp. They'd probably start spending more nights in inns soon, as much to escape the chill of the evening and early morning, as to stop Yato's complaining about said chill. Yuzuriha herself was already in a sour mood. Not only was the cold getting to her as well, but her left boot was starting to come apart at the seams, making walking uncomfortable. It would need to be repaired soon.

"Of course they are. Now stop complaining would you, you're going to give me a headache" she snapped at him.

They trudged on along the rocky path, Yuzuriha only grateful that it hadn't begun to snow yet and the way was still clear. "Bet you don't miss your Cloth right now," Yato grumbled beside her, each breath visible in the air as a white puffy cloud.

"Do I even have to respond to that?" Her words came out a little harsher than she intended which she simply attributed to the icy cold and the irregular pace she had set to accommodate her damaged boot.

Clearly her tone didn't register with Yato. Or it did and he just didn't care. Whatever the truth, there was something very strange in the cheeky look on his face that had come to replace his complaining frown. "Does that mean you also won't respond if I tell you that I miss your Cloth?" He waggled his eyebrows at her then, actually waggled them.

Yuzuriha steeled her eyebrows in a grim line. "You're a pig," she said flatly. Her annoyance did nothing to abate the reddening that she could feel staining her cheeks.

Yato opened his hands dismissively. "But an honest pig. That's got to count for something."

"It's going to count for a swift kick soon if you don't watch yourself," she grumbled back at him.

Was it possible that her words only made him grin wider? "The only reason I felt safe enough to say that was because I know your kicks don't hurt as much as they used to." True enough, he had known better than to aggravate her when she had the power to explode the stars. Now though, his words landed with a sting he didn't intend. Or maybe, Yuzuriha wondered, it was intentional. Lately, she couldn't always tell if he was actually trying to antagonize her with his questions, or not. Nonetheless, Yato went on casually as if he were completely unaware of her building frustration. "I doubt you're even fast enough to hit me with one now."

Yato was doubled over a moment later, courtesy of one kick to the gut. It may not have been as fast as she could have done so before, but still entirely effective. Yuzuriha grimaced when she looked at her boot after. The seam had opened wider. She glared at Yato, blaming him for this. Of all ridiculous things there was laughter in his eyes, even as a groan of pain escaped his lips.

* * *

 

"Yuzuriha?" She looked up at his calling her. Yato was strolling along, half a pace ahead of her. He wasn't looking at her, but instead his eyes were trained on the grey sky above them. Two days had passed since he had made that comment about her old Cloth and the sky no longer looked as forgiving as it did then. Instead it suggested that at any moment it may decide to open up with the first snows of the year.

"Yeah, Yato?" Yuzuriha sighed resignedly. She could only imagine what he wanted this time.

"How come you never wore your mask when you were a Saint?" He still wasn't looking at her, his gaze wandering to the mountains stretching off to their left.

Sometime, she would ask him why he so often picked topics like these out of the blue, but not now. Instead she limited herself to a simple response. "It was impractical. It limited my peripheral vision."

He looked at her then, eyes furrowed the slightest bit. "You know I can tell when you're giving half-truths, right?" She hadn't actually, but then why did he insist on asking so many questions if he knew she never gave a full answer?

"I always felt it was unfair that they made you female Saints wear those masks," Yato went on when it was clear she wasn't going to answer his question. Did he notice the way her shoulders stiffened at his words, Yuzuriha wondered.

"I mean, you only wanted to do the same thing we did, protect people." Yato just did not stop. Up until four years ago, her entire life had revolved around protecting people. She did not need him reminding her of it now. "No reason to hide your face. I mean, Miss Sasha never had to, did she?"

Yuzuriha didn't answer the question. Instead she said as mildly as she could, "Yato?"

"Yeah, Yuzuriha?" He hummed back, happy as a clam.

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?"

His eyes crinkled, a sure sign a grin would follow. Sure enough the corners of his mouth lifted. Funny how easily she could read him now. "I've got to get you out of that cold shell somehow, don't I?

"Besides, who's to say that's what I thought the answer was?" He crossed his arms behind his head, walking so contentedly. Yuzuriha could only wonder at how he could bring up the past without a single care, when his every mention of it sent her insides twisting. "Maybe I'd always thought it was because you'd fallen in love with me?" His eyes were squinted shut as he looked to the sky, rather than face her. The mischievous upturned corners of his mouth told her he was being anything but serious.

Yuzuriha pressed her lips together. Whereas she had just been on the verge of snapping at him, she now wasn't sure whether she should be even more irritated or instead amused. He sometimes had that strange effect on her. "If that were the case I must have also fallen in love with Shion, Tenma, Hakurei, and every other man who'd seen me," she said.

"Well, you never did kill any of us," was Yato's lofty reply. Not yet, she thought to herself silently. Not yet.

Later that night, when they had stopped to make camp, the snow still hadn't begun, but the sky looked, if anything, even more menacing. The wind had picked up as well, bringing with it sharp, cold air that stung any exposed skin.

"Are you sure we can't sleep under an actual roof tonight?"

Yuzuriha approached Yato, a bundle of wood secured under one arm. She rubbed one hand across her temples to ward off the headache she felt brewing there. That had to be at least the dozenth time she had heard him say some variation of those words since they had begun setting up camp.

"I told you the first time, we've slept outside on colder nights. There's no point in wasting money on a room when we can stay outside just fine." Yuzuriha said the words slowly, enunciating each one clearly. Hopefully this would help Yato get it through his apparently thick skull.

"But what if it snows?" His moan was pitiful in its attempt to gain her sympathy.

"Yato," Yuzuriha growled. He was beginning to test her patience. Normally she was good at dealing with his 'Yato-ness', but the weather, her rapidly deteriorating boot which was still aggravating her even now, and his surprisingly probing question earlier in the day had her responding testily, "Just finish what you're doing so we can start a fire already."

"It was never this cold in the Sanctuary," Yato grumbled, but nonetheless dug his fingers back through the bed of pine needles on the ground. He'd just about cleared a large enough patch to safely begin to build a fire from the wood she had collected.

A stray thought of Jamir nudged its way into Yuzuriha's mind. Nestled as it was high in the mountains, the thin air of Jamir was never warm. At this time of year, a day like the one she and Yato were experiencing would be considered almost balmy in the land of her birth. She felt a pang in her chest, something almost like homesickness. She tried her best to shove it back into the deep recesses of her mind where she'd locked up all such thoughts.

Yato sat back on his heels, a well sized patch of ground now clear of pine needles, perfect to build a fire on. He looked up at her. "Do you ever wish you could go back and see it all? Visit the Zodiac Houses. See what Shion has done with it. Meet the new Saints," he wondered.

"No," Yuzuriha tried her best to keep the frustration that was building in her from coming out. To stop herself from saying anymore she held the armful of wood out to him, so he could start building the fire.

"Really? Not at all?" He asked, not taking the proffered firewood.

Yuzuriha's grip on the wood tightened. When it was clear he simply wasn't going to take it from her, she drew it back to her chest, a protective barrier between the two of them. "What is with you and all your questions?" She asked him, the edge she had been trying so hard to keep from her voice coming out in full force.

"Hm? What do you mean?" It was another innocent question, asked as calmly as could be. Too innocent, too calm. It was not how anyone would respond to the obvious ire in her voice, and it sent her ears burning.

"Oh, stop it." She was tired of whatever charade he was playing, and had, had more than enough of his probing questions. She got the sudden urge to smack that calm, politely questioning look off his face. "All you've been doing the past few days, no since I ran into you in that damned tavern, was ask me about things in the past." She would have swung her arms out angrily, but the woods she held prevented her from doing so. Instead she bobbed her head angrily as she said, "Do I miss this person? Do I miss doing that? Why do you insist on bringing it up all the time?"

Yato crossed his arms in from him. In a reasonable tone he asked, "Well, why do you insist on deflecting all of my questions?"

The calm way he continued to speak only worked to stoke the fire burning in her, but the words themselves unbalanced her. "That's a question, not an answer," Yuzuriha's words shook slightly, a mixture of both anger and uncertainty. She was supposed to be the one drilling him for once, not the other way around.

Yato failed to see this logic. "It wasn't, but you're just proving my point," he replied stubbornly. "But fine, you want to know why I keep bringing it up?" He stood up then, so that they met eye to eye. "Because every time I say something you flinch. It's like you're living in this bubble, where nothing that happened before we lost our Cosmos even existed."

She actually did flinch at that. His words were too direct, too personal. They hit at the core of all the questions and insecurities she'd been dealing with. The problem that she'd been coping with ever since they'd landed back in Jamir after the war. Losing her Cosmos, and in the process, losing herself.

"You refuse to acknowledge that it even happened."

Yuzuriha felt herself take a step back from him. "I have not," Yuzuriha replied, her teeth gritting. "I've acknowledged that it happened, and that it's gone. Therefore there's no reason in bringing it up anymore."

"So, what? You'd rather just forget about it all?" Yato pressed, following her retreat with a step forward of his own. "Forget about what we did?" He threw an arm out, and she flinched again, but from his words more than his action. "Forget about Shion, and Tenma, and Athena?"

"I didn't say that," Yuzuriha bit her lip, retreating further. She didn't want to deal with this. She couldn't get into this with him. She could feel a tangle of emotion wrangling inside her, teetering on the brink of escape. "Just, just stop it alright? I don't want to talk about it." Even to her own ears she sounded desperate.

"No, you stop it," Yato cut her off with another sharp wave of his arm. "You brought it up. You wanted to know why I keep talking about the past? I told you. Now it's your turn to spill," he pointed a finger at her. "Why won't you ever give me a straight answer?"

"Sod off, Yato." The roiling emotions within her leaked out in anger.

"Not until you give me a straight answer," Yato repeated, his voice rising as well. "Why is it such a big deal to talk about it? What's got you so knotted up inside that every time I mention it, your shoulders stiffen, and you get this ghastly look of death on your face?"

He'd noticed. Every time she tensed at his words. Every time she deflected his questions. Every time she'd spoken half or less of the truth. He'd known, and yet he'd kept doing it anyway. It was like pouring oil on a fire.

"Yato." Her voice was dangerously low, and violently calm. It was all Yuzuriha could to do keep from exploding on him.

"Don't you Yato me anymore! Tell me! Talking about things helps!" Yato insisted, angrily. He ducked his head and curled his fingers in a gesture of frustration. When he looked up his eyes bored into her own. "You're just hurting yourself by keeping everything bottled up like this."

"You want to know why I don't want to talk about it? Because I don't even want to think about it!" The firewood she had collected clattered around Yuzuriha's feet as she opened her arms angrily. There was moment of silence between them, as her words rung their course through their campsite. She took one, angry, panting breath then advanced on him finally, fueled by her anger. "You asked me once if I was mad at Athena? I am! I've never been more furious at someone in my life." She could feel a dangerous prickling at the corner of her eyes. She didn't want to start crying in front of him, but if he really wanted to know she'd let him have it all. He'd been so certain about knowing when she was giving superficial answers, well let him see how he dealt with the gritty details.

"What gave her the right to do this? Why did she get to dictate the path my life has to take now? Leave me with nothing." Yuzuriha's words ran out hot and angry. They held all the frustration she'd kept wrapped up ifor the past four years. All her anger and confusion. Regret and loss. Across from her it was Yato's turn to take a step back from the onslaught of her words, and her advancing anger. The determination on his face had faltered, his expression now uncertain. "What's the point to my life anymore Yato? You seem to know what's best for me, what I should be doing, what I should be thinking. So, do you know? Because I certainly don't know what the point of it all is now!"

Yato was at a loss for words. "Yuzuriha..I…I didn't…"

Yuzuriha wiped angrily at her face to keep the wetness building behind her eyes from trailing down her cheeks. "Didn't what? Didn't know?" She asked bitterly. "Didn't want to know?"

"No, I-"

She clenched her dampened fists at her side. Her words were still shaky as she cut Yato off. "I've lived the past four years accepting that I'm never getting back what I had, and trying to find some way to live with that fact. If you had slept five more minutes that morning in the inn I would still be getting by, happily not thinking about it all."

Yato's body seemed to deflate, as if he caved in on himself. "Does that mean you'd rather I wasn't here?" He asked, his voice small, almost lost.

Yuzuriha bit her lip, uncertainty rising in her chest to replace the roiling emotions she'd spent. She crouched among the branches she had dropped, and began to gather them in her arms. "It means I'd rather you would stop asking stupid questions, " she said softly. She couldn't bring herself to look back up at him. She was scared of what she might see on his face. She feared she'd already said things she couldn't take back, hoping she hadn't caused irreparable damage. She'd let out all that anger on him, and it wasn't even Yato she was truly mad at.

Across the patch of ground he had cleared, Yato knelt down as well. Wordlessly he picked up a few of the discarded branches and started to build a fire. Neither of them spoke, or even looked at each other the whole time they worked.

Yuzuriha half expected to wake up the next morning to find him gone. She had no reason to worry. When she rose alongside the sun Yato's still sleeping form lay on the opposite side of the campsite just as he had every morning for the past number of months. She'd never been so happy to have to go over and kick him awake.

Things weren't right between them though. He was quieter and more reserved that morning than he'd been since he'd started travelling with her. Yuzuriha found her own mood dampened as well. The bitter cold that leeched down her neck and the flapping of her disintegrating boot did nothing to improve her mood, but she knew the biggest thing dampening her spirits was the lack of the cheeriness she had grown accustomed to coming from her traveling companion. She hadn't realized how much she'd come to rely on his brightness to raise her own mood, or how much happier she'd been since he'd started to travel with her. Now it seemed like a dark curtain had been drawn between them and she had no idea how to get rid of it.


	4. Chapter 4

A few days later Yuzuriha and Yato came across a village large enough that you might even be able to call it a small town. It was definitely the largest center of activity they'd encountered in a long time. The prospect of finally finding a place likely to have a cobbler so she could get her boot repaired lifted Yuzuriha's mood higher than it had been in days. The pair must have arrived during some form of local holiday, for all the town was decorated in bright colours and blue alpine flowers, which Yuzuriha was surprised to see blooming at this time of year.

In the center of the town was a market, more brilliantly decorated than any other part of the town. Banners were stretched from market stall to market stall, and strings of those blue flowers were hanging at every window and door, and adorning every person. It was also busier than any other part of the town, with men and women going between stalls as the shopkeepers hawked their wares, and all the while small children ran underfoot.

Although the two walked through the town in silence, beside her Yato's eyes held the same glimmer of excitement that those of the small children did. It was the first time Yuzuriha had seen that familiar gleam in his eyes since their argument, and it was a more than welcome sight.

"I'm going to go look for a cobbler, and see if they're open during whatever holiday this is," Yuzuriha informed Yato, breaking the quiet between them. She caught his eye, and he nodded confirmation to hearing her, but Yuzuriha could tell he was distracted. She left Yato, still not paying her much heed as he headed in the direction of the nearest market stall. It was probably for the best. Although she was happy to see him seeming to be in brighter mood today than he had been in a while, things hadn't been easy between the two of them since their argument and she'd appreciate some time spent apart.

Whatever the holiday was that the town was celebrating, it apparently did not shut down all the of the services of the town, which was fortunate for Yuzuriha's purposes. The cobbler was open for business, a big, burly man, with a red face and a thick white mustache.

He greeted her warmly, inquiring if she was in town to enjoy their celebration of the winter solstice to which she responded she was only passing through. She was surprised to learn that the solstice was already upon them, but the knowledge that the rapidly dwindling daytimes would begin to reverse was a welcome surprise.

The cobbler took one look at her now quite mangled boot and grunted an admiration at her continuing to travel in such a worn garment. He would be able to fix it though, he told her, and for a reasonable sum he could work on it then and there, so as not to hold her up in her travels.

She paid the man, and sat herself down on a bench he had pressed up against one wall to wait. She crossed her left leg over her right knee, leaving her bared foot to dangle out in the air. Looking out the window she saw that snow had begun to fall. She imagined the market must be looking like a real winter wonderland at the moment, with flurries swirling around its bright decorations.

A short time later Yuzuriha left the cobbler's workshop, her left foot finally and firmly clad in a boot of one solid piece. She found Yato not far from the cobbler's, surrounded by a small group of children. Snow had begun to accumulate on the tips of his hair, and his cheeks were redder than when she'd left him earlier. One of those blue flowers that everyone seemed to be wearing had been stuck in the collar of his shirt.

The children grouped around him were clad in battered warm-clothes, their faces red beneath a thin smearing of dirt. The girls wore garlands of those ever-present blue flowers around their necks, while the boys all had them stuck in their collars or shirtsleeves. They smiled gleefully and reached out with grubby fingers as Yato bent down to hand them each small steaming packages of some sort of food. "There you go. Did everyone get one?" Yuzuriha could hear him saying as she approached. There was happy clamouring in affirmation.

"Made some friends did you?" Yuzuriha asked evenly, trying for some of the ease in conversation they had once had going between them, but had been lost in the past few days.

Yato looked up then, and she noticed his cheeks reddening further. The smile he had been directing to the group of children gained something stretched. "Eh, they were eyeing the meat pies like they hadn't eaten in days, so I got them some," he replied, waving a vague hand at the children who were busy unwrapping the steaming food.

Their prize won, the children then turned to scamper off. One small girl stopped in front of Yuzuriha, her lips pulled back in a smile that displayed two missing front teeth. She held out one of the flower garlands that all of the girls were wearing. "Everyone's gotta wear flowers on the solstice, miss," the girl said very matter-of-factly. "Otherwise you'll get bad luck."

The garland, which would have fit easily around the neck of a child, would never make it past the crown of Yuzuriha's head, but she bent down nonetheless so the child could rest it on top of her hair. "Thank you," Yuzuriha said, smiling warmly at the child. "I wouldn't want bad luck." This elicited an even bigger grin from the small girl, before she quickly hurried off to catch up with her friends.

Yuzuriha's eyes tracked the retreating form of the children, before looking back up to Yato. "You sure their parents are going to like you giving them out food?"

"Parents?" Yato sounded surprised, as if the thought hadn't even occurred to him, which it probably hadn't. After a moment he said slowly, "No, I don't think I have to worry about any parents."

Before she could wonder too much at this, Yato was asking her, "Did you get everything taken care of?" She noted curiously that he wasn't quite making eye contact with her when he spoke, preferring to address her chin instead. He shifted his travelling pack over his shoulder and drummed the fingers of one hand along his thigh.

Yuzuriha stuck out her left foot, the boot now free of the leather ties she had once been using to hold it together. "Good as new," she proclaimed with satisfaction.

Yuzuriha cocked her head, trying to gauge his emotions as Yato's free hand went up to the base of his neck, and ran itself through his hair, sending the flurries resting there spiralling down around his face. Even without being able to feel a Cosmos she could see he was clearly uncomfortable. Was he really so embarrassed at her finding him sharing food with those children? Abruptly Yato, slung his travelling pack off his shoulder, and pulled a brown paper package out of it. He shoved the package in her direction so quickly Yuzuriha startled a bit. "I got something for you," the words came out as little more than a mumble and he still wasn't looking directly at her. Instead his eyes now fell on the air just to the side of her left ear.

So, this was what had him acting so strangely, not just his gifting food to those children. Yuzuriha's brows furrowed in interest, and she reached out to take the package from him. Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth opened in soft 'o' when she unfolded the rough paper packaging to see what it was.

Nestled in the crinkled paper was a short scarf, dyed a dark purple so devoid of colour it was almost grey. She fingered it lightly, finding it's frayed yarn to be a coarse wool that would likely itch something awful. Coupled with its colour, this made it one of the ugliest pieces of clothing Yuzuriha had ever seen.

Yato was talking as she inspected the gift. Babbling more like it, and not in his usual cheerful manner either. "It's getting cold, and I know you're used to wearing a scarf, so I thought maybe you'd want it." His words ran into one another nervously, and she was beginning to suspect the redness of his nose wasn't due entirely to the cold.

It was not a thing like the long, silky fabric of her mother's scarf Yuzuriha thought as she rubbed some of the coarse wool between her thumb and finger. Draped around her neck it would keep her warm, but wouldn't remind her at all of the one she used to wear. She doubted she'd reach for it with her missing telekinesis. Glancing at Yato who was still babbling on, she suspected it had been chosen for that very fact. She wondered how many of her half-truths, as Yato had once called her explanations to his questions, did he really know the whole of. A pool of regret found its way into her stomach for the way she had yelled at him. Maybe he really had just been trying to understand, even to help.

"And I mean, it's nothing special if it's just from me, so you wouldn't have to worry about ruining it from travelling," Yato was rubbing his neck uncomfortably again, and still refused to make eye contact with her.

Yuzuriha picked the scarf up off the packaging and unfolded it. She stretched it out to its full length, then wound it snugly around her neck. Instantaneously the thick wool cut off the chill that had been creeping down her neck ever since the cold had set in. Yato's babbling stopped, and he finally looked her full in the face. His expression was half-unsure, and wholly embarrassed.

"Thank you, Yato." Yuzuriha's voice was as warm as the heat she felt rising behind her cheeks. She took up an extra fold of the scarf to cover her chin, not to keep out the cold, but to hide the redness on her face. "It's perfect."

The scarf scratched uncomfortably at the base of her neck, and truly was a hideous colour, but she'd never received such a thoughtful gift before. Besides, if she were to be honest with herself, the elation on Yato's face at her acceptance of his gift was worth any itch or scratch she could receive. She could almost swear she could feel his happiness in her own soul, as she was able to do so many years ago. The surprise on his face when she suggested they stay the night in a local inn, without him even asking her first, was just an added bonus.


	5. Chapter 5

The sea was colder than Yuzuriha had expected. Whereas inland spring had begun to warm the air and earth around them, at the ocean's edge a swift breeze swept away this warmth, bringing with it a faint chill. The ends of the wool scarf she wore were brushed behind her, twirling and twining around themselves, tickling the back of her neck whenever they made contact. The breeze brought with it the sharp smell of ocean brine and the taste of salt. The sand beneath her toes was wet with ocean spray, and each approaching wave rumbled quietly as it rolled up the beach to dampen her ankles.

The last leg of their journey had passed without incident. The cold snows of winter had finally stopped, and the snow which covered the roads had melted away, clearing the way to the ocean she had been seeking.

Yato's questions never stopped, but they reduced in number, and every time they did come up they seemed to affect her less and less. When she had been travelling alone the only way she had been able to damped herself to the painful effects of thinking about the past was simply by pushing it to the edges of her mind where it never surfaced. With Yato though it was different. She still wasn't at the point where it didn't affect her, but with each passing day she found herself able to face it a little more. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be completely at peace with losing her Cosmos and the life she'd known when she had it, but she was finding new reasons to live again. She wasn't sure what was more surprising, the fact that she was finding these reasons, or the catalyst that had helped her to do so.

Yuzuriha looked behind her, to the fool himself. Yato was sitting in the sand, a good distance away, not looking at her. The wind was ruffling his hair, brushing it back from his face and off of his shoulders where it had grown just long enough to reach. A half bored expression was on his face as he traced designs in the sand, waiting for her to finish whatever it was that she needed to do.

A question came to Yuzuriha's mind, one that had been lurking there since they'd met in that inn almost a year ago now, but she'd never felt prepared to ask it, or receive its answer. "I never did ask what you thought," she said, still feeling the calming ocean breeze brush over her. With the ocean air sweeping through her, she felt that maybe, just maybe she really was ready.

"Eh?" Yato looked up from his idle tracing, mouth hanging half open in wait of her question.

"What you thought about it all," Yuzuriha struggled to put it into words. Something was rising in her throat, while dark thoughts gnawed uncomfortably at her mind. It wasn't a hard question really, but she'd never been the one to initiate one of these conversations before. Maybe it wasn't as easy to ask as she had thought. She took a deep breath of the salty air, clearing her mind once again. She had to do this, for some reason she felt as though she owed him this. "What you thought about how everything's changed. Are you really as okay with it as you seem?"

Yato stood up from his tracings, dusting grains of sand off his fingers as he did so. "What brought this on all of the sudden?" The look in his eye was probing, looking for something, and Yuzuriha really wasn't sure what he would find.

Yuzuriha shrugged. She wasn't even sure if she knew why, it just felt right to ask it now. "It's only fair that I ask isn't it? I mean, that's what you've been doing since we ran into each other. Seeing if I'd gotten past it. Helping me to get through it." Her voice rose slightly at this last part, almost turning it into a question.

Yato smiled then, but it wasn't one of his usual gleeful grins. It was small and knowing, with something relieved in it. "You finally figured that out, huh?"

A small burst of amusement tugged the corner of Yuzuriha's mouth up. "Now who's evading questions?"

"Not me, just making an observation first," Yato replied. He looked out at the waves for a moment, watching them gently roll in. He then looked at her, that calm smile still on his face. "You don't have to worry about helping me get past it all, I really am as okay with everything as I seem.

"That's not to say I don't miss some of it," he added. "I told you once already that I miss Miss Sasha. Sometimes I even think I miss that asshole Tenma even more than her." A rueful look came into his eyes, as his smile flattened into a slight, annoyed, frown.

"Yato, he was your best friend," Yuzuriha said.

"And an asshole," Yato reiterated. He shook his head, losing the frown in the process. "But that's not the point. I still miss them, but I've made my peace with the past. I've moved on."

"How?" Yuzuriha couldn't stop herself from asking. "How can you just move on like that?" Had he some secret that had eluded her for so long?

"I don't even know if I know," Yato said, echoing her earlier thoughts. "I just did. I got to be a hero, that's what I wanted," he explained. He rubbed a hand through his hair, then shrugged before adding, "More than that I realized that I could still be a hero, for different people, in different ways."

"Be a hero for someone, that's all it takes to move on?" To Yuzuriha it sounded so simple. Images popped into her mind of small grubby hands reaching for warm food that was happily distributed, and she found herself smiling. If being a hero in that way helped Yato deal with the change of course their lives had taken, him making amends could only have been a good thing.

She stepped to the edge of the beach, where the bare sand gave way to tough grasses and sat down heavily. The coarse sea grass pricked at her legs, and tickled her arms as she placed her hands behind her. It was much easier to think of Yato's effect on the lives of a small group of children she'd never see again, than consider the effects he'd had on her own life since re-entering it.

"For me at least," Yato walked over to where she was sitting, and sat down close beside her, close enough that when he spread his hands out behind him to lean back on, their arms brushed against each other. "I mean, that's how I dealt with it. Everyone's different I guess, but somehow you just have to face the past and move on."

Yuzuriha didn't say anything, and for once Yato didn't seem to feel the need to fill the empty silence with words. But it wasn't an awkward silence. The sounds of the waves beating against the shore washed over her, seeming to calm any thoughts from her mind. The softest of sighs escaped her lips as she let herself become lost in the sound.

Face the past. Move on. Not long ago it had seemed an impossible feat, but now the task didn't seem quite so unrealistic. Maybe it was only impossible on her own?

Yuzuriha's eyes had begun to drift shut, lulled by the sound of the waves and the lazy thoughts drifting through her mind, when Yato finally spoke. "So, is it all you expected?"

Yuzuriha opened her eyes, taking in the wide sweeping vista of the ocean. It was like nothing she'd ever seen before. The clear blues of the Mediterranean could not compare to the harsh wildness of the choppy Pacific waters. The smell of the ocean was somehow stronger here, the taste of it on her tongue almost oppressive. The tough grasses beneath her dug into her legs, making themselves known, while her ears were encroached with the sound of the approaching waves.

She remembered trying so hard to find connections in anything. The desperation that had driven her to attune her mortal senses to everything in the hopes of reaching that extra sense again. Here, she didn't even need to put any extra effort into, all her senses were being so strongly assaulted with sensations, but she realized almost with surprise that it didn't matter to her anymore. As she thought back on it, trying to find that extra feeling had been meaning less and less to her for some time now. Something had gotten in the way of it all.

Her eyes turned to the man sitting next to her. Yato was looking out at the ocean, a serene smile on his face, looking content as all the world. She wasn't sure exactly what she was feeling at that moment, but it was warm, and comforting and strangely familiar. Softly, still looking at him she said, "I think it's more."

Yato looked at her through the corner of his eye, and she felt heat rising on her cheeks. She turned away, not able to meet his eye any longer. There was something startlingly intense there, which she'd never seen before. "Good to hear," Yato said, equally softly beside her, in contrast to the strength of his eyes. She wasn't even surprised when she felt Yato reach out, and drape his arm across her shoulders, pulling her closer.

The two of them sat there together, staring out at the sea, and Yuzuriha finally felt that sense of calm she'd been looking for, for so long. Almost unconsciously she let her head drop until it was resting on Yato's chest, just above his heart. She could hear the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath his ribs, and suddenly there it was. She had nothing else to worry about. She had nothing else she needed. Everything that she'd been searching for was right here, feeling, connections, a heartbeat aside her own.


End file.
